Every word has two meanings; one in the dictionary and another by yourself.
By dictionary, FEAR means an unpleasant emotion or thought that you have when you are frightened or worried by something dangerous, painful or bad that is happening or might happen.
By your memory, when you feel "fear", you might feel scared, lose power, there is nothing you can do about it, want to give up or resign.
I'm not talking about fear caused by physical things, you are being chased by a tiger for instance; it is called a threat. The fear you feel during a threat is in "fight or flight" mode and it is physiologically normal.
What I'm talking about is the fear borne by your thought, self-conversation, or inner voice. For example, you fail once and stop trying again because you are afraid of facing failure a second time. In this case, to overcome the fear, you have to listen carefully to your inner voice, for instance, these conversations below:
- I'm always unlucky.
- Good things never happen to me.
- I'm alone.
- I'm useless.
- I'm helpless.
- I'm not worth it.
- I'm not good enough.
- No one loves me.
- Nobody cares about me.
How do you feel? Do you feel empowered? Of course, not! These conversations put you in the victim position and make you feel drained and discouraged from doing anything to bring yourself out of the pit hole.
Simon Sinek, an inspiring American author, pointed out that Olympic athletes always interpret nervousness as excitement for the body stimulus works in a favorable way. The body is giving out the same response to both emotions − your heart races, you visualize your future, and your hands get clammy. It just depends on how you interpret it.
So, I practice.
I use the word challenging whenever I encounter a difficult situation. By definition, difficult means needing skill or effort; not easy, while challenging means difficult, in a way that tests your ability or determination. By outcome, it gives me a totally different vibe; with less complaint and discouragement, it gives me power and a sense of looking forward to what will happen next as I deal with it.
Instead of "Why can't you do this?" I will say "Is there any problem I can help you with?"
Instead of "I'm busy, don't disturb me!", I would tell him or her that I have to finish this now, can I listen to you in next 30 min?
Instead of "I don't know how to do it, I have never done this before," I say "I don't know how to do it, let me google it." (Trust me, Google has the answer to solve 90%, if not 100%, of your questions.)
In short, it's all about how you deliver your conversation and which language you are using to do it.
Remember! Language has power. Your words have power.
You are the Power!
Yamong Thaw
Jan 28, 2022 (Friday)
